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Massage Therapy Joke

Massage Therapist (monologuing): I'm going to be doing frictions which can be a little unpleasant. It's at this point clients sometimes say (in a Sean Connery accent) "Do you expect me to talk?" And I say (wigged out Goldfinger voice): "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!"

Massage Quotes

Carefully observe your activities of thinking, breathing, movement, diet, sex, and sleep, for these are the six fundamentals of health. Within this realm lies success or failure in your physical health and emotional happiness. Quote by Shizuko Yamamota

Massage Therapy Joke

Massage Therapist: Is the pressure okay?
Client: How will I know if it's not "okay"?
Massage Therapist: If you see dead relatives beckoning you toward a bright light, that would be one clue.

Full Body Massage

A fantastic range of muscle melting massages that will relax, revive and renew....
We offer the following sessions with professionalism, pride and passion. The good services you've come to know and  love in Kensington, Johannesburg

Our massage technique is based on intuition which has been refined by techniques learned from various sources, fine tuned by practical experience and is guided by empathy, that is, how we react to each other at the time. Your session will be tailored to suit your mood. If you are the quiet, introverted type, we will be quiet. If you are the fun and outgoing type, we will be the same.

Please Note: We do not offer or provide erotic or tantric massage. Professional massage therapy is focused on the therapeutic aspects of having your body tissues manipulated. Sometimes this can feel sensual, but that is not the intended purpose of the therapy. Sensual, by definition, means 'sensate' and that refers to having all your senses filled. It is not necessary to feel sexual if you are feeling sensual. All too often these terms are misunderstood and thought to be the same. They are not. It is perfectly natural to feel sensual without any sexual thoughts while receiving a massage.

Swedish Massage

This is a full body relaxing, stress-reducing type of massage most people think about when they want a massage. Swedish massage includes gliding, kneading, and striking strokes as well as friction strokes, stretching, joint movements, gentle shaking, and rocking. Generally, the massage is full-body and is very relaxing and has therapeutic benefits. Swedish massage is usually a full-body treatment involving soft music, soft lighting and warm oil.

Hemp Infused Massage Therapy

Try our Mile High Therapeutic Massage with our scented premium hemp infused massage oil which can help melt away pain, relax the mind and body, stimulate circulation, warm muscles and enhance energy flow. We use hemp infused massage oil to help soothe the body from sore muscles and promote relaxation. Hemp oil is highly effective in reducing the effects of psoriasis and eczema. As we apply the oil during the massage, we can feel the muscles loosen up just a touch more than when using normal oil.
This therapeutic massage is ideal for those who suffer from stress, hypertension of the muscles and/or nerve pain. They will experience an increased state of relaxation and a decreased amount of pain and tension from the benefit of our massage and the use of our hemp infused healing oils. Come over for one of the best treatments at our studio.

Warm Candle Massage

This massage combines warm with a coconut base and essential oils. As the candle fills the room with its luxurious aroma and warmth, the wax will melt at a soothing temperature creating a warm blend of essentials oils. The hot wax is a nice sensation on the skin that would thoroughly relax you and also leave your skin feeling incredibly smooth. The candle melts at a just a few degrees higher than the normal body temperature, providing a warm massage sensation without the risk of burning. The rich silky oil absorbs quickly into your skin without leaving behind a residue.

Hot Oil Massage

Soothe, relax and relieve muscle tension with my Hot Oil Massage...You have to feel it, to believe it. After a busy day at work, what can be better than a soothing, relaxing, hot oil massage to relieve the stress, strains and tensions of the day? Using the finest oils heated to a perfect temperature and then slowly dripped over your body allowing the heat of the oil to awaken your body senses as it warms and caresses your skin. Your hot oil massage can be combined with all massage treatments so simply choose your massage type.

Hot Stone Massage

A massage treat that warms and eases tension from your tight muscles. Hot stone massage combines traditional massage with a use of smooth heated basalt stones, which are applied to the body as an extension of my hands. A hot stone massage session is similar to a Swedish style relaxation massage except that smooth basalt hot stones are expertly used to assist in the relaxation process. Hot stones are placed on tight muscles and the heat is allowed to “soak” deep into the muscles. While tight muscles are relaxing under the slight weight and heat of stationary stones, other hot stones are used in the massage of the other muscles. The edges of the stones can be used to get deep into hard to get at places. Large smooth stones glide along long muscles warming them and releasing tension. As stones cool, they are replaced by hot stones. After the session, the client is given a ten-minute rest period to enhance the stress reducing effects of the work.


A method of massage using oils obtained from a mixture of plant extracts which have powerful effects and can easily be absorbed by the skin. This massage features low rhythms, light movements and full relaxation. This leaves a soothing and relaxed body. Relaxation aromatherapy massage is particularly suited to conditions involving stress or improving emotionally-related conditions.

Ashiatsu Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage

Many people come in and ask for a deep tissue massage when all they want is a deep pressure massage. Deep tissue is not classified as a relaxing therapy like a Swedish one is, however, for many people this type of massage, where the therapist digs into the muscles of the back, legs and glutes using forearms, elbows, knuckles, fists, trying to get as close to the bone as possible is the way to go. When we're talking about deep tissue we're talking about getting INTO the muscle. I offer this massage with my bare feet only. The massage session ends with a foot job on you. A bare foot deep tissue massage is not meant to be used for a full body session but is best focused on a particular problem area (e.g. back, lower back, glutes, legs.

Jodie's Signature Body Scrub and Massage

A body scrub is a popular body treatment that is basically a facial for the body: it exfoliates and hydrates your skin, leaving it smooth and soft. A body scrub is done with an abrasive material -- usually sea salt or sugar -- mixed with some kind of massage oil and an aromatic like essential oils. If the scrub uses salt, it might be called a salt scrub, salt glow or sea salt scrub.

The scrub is followed by an application of high-quality massage oil that leaves your skin hydrated.


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